Recently I fell upon a beautiful teaching regarding the Yin Yang symbol. As I listened I realized that it was addressing an uneasiness I had been wrestling with. This symbol and teaching had the answer to my attempt to balance my female approach to business. As I discuss what I have learned it would be helpful for you to have a Yin Yang image in front of you as a reference. Here are a few definitions that may also provide additional points of reference:
"In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (also yin-yang or yin yang, 陰陽 yīnyáng "dark-bright") describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. " (Yin and yang - Wikipedia)
"A starting definition: Yin / Yang: Two halves that together complete wholeness. Yin and yang are also the starting point for change. When something is whole, by definition it is unchanging and complete. So when you split something into two halves - yin / yang, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness. This starts both halves chasing after each other as they seek a new balance with each other. The word Yin comes out to mean "shady side" and Yang "sunny side". Yin Yang is the concept of duality forming a whole. We encounter examples of Yin and Yang every day. As examples: night (Yin) and day (Yang), female (Yin) and male (Yang). Over thousands of years quite a bit has been sorted and grouped under various Yin Yang classification systems." (personaltao.com/teachings/questions/what-is-yin-yang)
As a female entrepreneur and a person who provides consulting services to other female entrepreneurs I have experienced my fair share of the effects of a business managed with too much Yin. Equally I have witnessed the effects of a business with way too much Yang. Whenever there is too much of one or the other the business finds itself out of balance.
Too many times the fairy tale story of the female entrepreneur ends up being the story of the "Damsel in Distress from the town of Stuckinthemud, in the beautiful state of Overwhelmed". In this story the female is waiting for a saving grace, a knight in shining armor. She is screaming from the roof top that no one cares about me and my business or that no one understands her plight.
Which leads me to ponder what is it about our female upbringing, society's attitudes or our collective consciousness that has us acting out this story over and over again? Some of us have broken free, but 90% of the women entrepreneurs that I meet or work with are in a state of overwhelm and they don't mind expressing it. It is very hard to witness this self-destructive (business-destructive) approach to management. It is even harder to see yourself or evaluate these behaviors when you are literally being sucked down by this pool of quicksand.
STOP! What I have just stated here might have just sent prickly thorns up your spine. It might have you getting ready to boldly click the delete button and disregard what I am about to share. I beg you to take a deep breath and stick with me. I promise that taking this moment of self-reflection might just do you and your business a world of good. At the bare minimum is can't hurt you to read on.
Some might say that it is written in our female DNA to take things to heart, to have an extreme emotional attachment to the world we create or to manage our staff and affairs with this emotional attachment. These connections, this insight make us wonderful mothers, grandmothers, friends and spouses. Unchecked it does not make us good managers or business owners. Too much emotional attachment skews the logical minds ability to make decisions and take action. When we are stuck in the emotional we tend to become victims, paralyzed and unable to make simple decisions or even worse, critical decisions. We tend to want to point fingers and feel as if no one cares. Time and time again I have been told by female entrepreneurs that they feel like their staff doesn't listen or don't care about their business. They make statements like; I have to do it myself, because no one seems to care. I need you to hear this, "No one cares as much as you and no one will ever care as much as you". Get over it. There is no knight in shining armor; there is no perfect employee. It's your creation, how will you choose to create it, mold it, caress it, water it, propel it. Do not wait until things feel cozy, or you feel supported. You are your Yang. You are the other side of your whole. When you are in balance your business and staff follow your lead and become balanced. A very wise man once said, "A business' health and well being is as healthy as its owner's mental health state". What mental health diagnosis code would you use for your business today?
It is within the balance of intuitive knowing (YIN) and logical (YANG) forward movement that great things are created. Overwhelmed is just too much YIN, which makes us over analyze, second guess and fear decision making. We get stuck in the minutia and loose site of the big picture. I started this article off with the idea of balance found in the YIN/YANG symbol. What if we honored our Yin (female self) but allowed or introduced more Yang (male self) to balance out the Yin. How can we do that?
The first step is always acknowledgment. Recognizing the pattern is half the battle. Take a moment to truthfully reflect on the concept of "Damsel in Distress" or the state of being overwhelmed. Jot down where this is showing up in your professional life. Be brutally honest here. It is the only way out of the mud.
Second, list all the ways you relinquish your power. Where are you, to whom and how are looking to be saved. Who or what is standing in front of you waving a sword in one hand and holding your power in the other? No fair playing victim here!!! You give away your power it is not taken from you. Who has it, how did they get it, why did you feel the need to give it away. Really really dig. There are always some hidden aspects to this.
Third, remember where you came from. What was your fairy tale, what was your vision, what are you trying to create. What sent you down this path in the first place? Was money your motivator, was it success or was it a passion? Again, be honest. Stay true to your mission or better yet do you have a mission? Take time to rewrite your mission, your reason to pursue this vision. What made it worth the long hours, the sacrifice or the extreme effort? Connect back to that.
Finally, take action, feel action, exude action and BE Action. Don't diminish your YIN amplify your YANG to equal proportions to create a whole.
Look at the YIN/YANG symbol again.
Each side diminishes into the other, where one begins the other ends. Each side has a small circle of the other color white/black, this symbolizes that one cannot exist without the other. In their intertwined perfection they create a whole circle. No end No beginning just a continuation of love. By embracing both aspects of our universal creation female and male we find the power of the whole.
I leave you with my final thoughts. It has been discovered that we actually can change our DNA. We have not been encoded with a script that is unchangeable. We have the power to change who we are physically, emotionally and mentally by changing our DNA. One way to do so is by positive mental states, another is by introducing different vibrational frequencies. IF we as the female or male have been encoded over the centuries via our DNA to act out a scenario in certain way it is within our reach to alter those tendencies to better serve our world. We can give ourselves a DNA upgrade. You can spend years of positive thought mantras and meditation, or you can do so by reconnecting to your wholeness, your perfection, and your magnificence through the frequencies of Reconnective Healing.
Virginia Adams is a Energy Healthcare provider. She is a Reconnection-Certified Practitioner and Reconnective Healing Foundational Practitioner. She has created and developed an energy healthcare practice. She is an entrepreneur, an artist and a public speaker. Virginia is full of passion for her work and her mission of helping others to tap into their perfection and magnificence. Reconnective Healing is known to transcends traditional energy healing techniques. It is neither a therapy nor a treatment. People may experience physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing during these sessions. For additional information visit http://www.virginia-adams.com