Gazing out the window with sleepy eyes, I am mesmerized by the softly falling snowflakes. This is not what I anticipated seeing this morning as I was summoned awake by the triumphant sounds of the aviary song of a new dawn. The vista before me provokes the feelings of early winter snowfall and the anticipation of the holiday season. But today is April 17, 2020, and not December 17, 2019. As I sip my morning tea and continue to gaze out the window, I realize that I am struggling to make sense of the stillness that my being is sensing. This snowy scene, the global virus of fear and the chaos of our current state of affairs, should have me feeling heavy and full of despair, and yet the only thing I sense or feel is peace and a vast stillness.
Looking back to mid-December of last year, I was swept up in the excitement and anticipation of a new year. Each day in my morning meditation, I saw wildly vivid scenes of a new day dawning. The idea of the year 2020 as being one of perfect vision spoke so elegantly to my inner knowing. I had said, written and lived the ideology of waking up, seeing past the veil of illusion, looking at our world and all of its chaos with a new perspective and using eyes of love to do so. Now the year 2020 was the perfect symbolism for these spiritual actions—the year of the awakening to our innate perfection through perfect “spiritual” vision. And here we are … April 17, 2020, experiencing the most significant global awakening ever known to man.
The global impact of the loss of income, loss of life, loss of basic life comforts, was not what I envisioned. I did not, could not have imagined the screeching STOP to life as we knew it. In my wildest of dreams I did not see, a time when collectively we would all be asked “who am I” if I can’t color my hair, man and woman scape my body, hug my friends and family, go to the doctor with ease, get a massage, talk face to face with my accountant, go out to dinner, have a party, go to a concert, go on my vacation, go to work, get a haircut, hold my grandbaby, visit my mother, go to church, celebrate my holy days, find f*** toilet paper, sit in sacred circle, go on a retreat, pay my bills, have enough food to feed my family or lose my loved one.
Has this been easy, NO!
Will things ever be the same again, NO!
Will we lose everything, MAYBE!
Will we lose a loved one, MAYBE!
Will my physical body die, YES!
Will I be the same me, YES!
Back to why do I feel such a sense of peace this morning? I realize I have wrestled with each of these questions my entire life, and I have already found peace. I have felt the pangs of sadness in the sudden loss of a loved one, I have lost everything I thought I had and rose from the ashes and I have faced the prospect that nothing will be the same again. Through every life story, I am left with the “eternal me.” The me that will go on for all time, the me that is an intricate part of God’s creative force, and the me that is a divine expression of love.
This is gravity, folks; God is gravity! Not in the sense of punishment but in the spirit of the gentle, kind demonstration that we are love even with hairy armpits, we are love despite our hairy armpits. We call in, we beckon whatever it will take to tear down the veil of illusion, break down the wall, and open our eyes to perfect vision, to 2020 vison. We call in the grace of grave times, yes, the grace! Haven’t we all asked God, our Higher Power in some way or another to show us, to show us the way, to show me who I am and what is my purpose? As the outer world is figuratively or literally stripped away, with the grace of gravity, you will see who you truly are. Sit in the quiet, sit in the stillness of nothingness, understand that you become the silent essence of peace without the chaos, without the need to proceed or do, the only thing left is the Knowning that you are still here, you still exist, and you are love, and you are loved despite of your hairy armpits.
Be well and know that I am always a phone call, text, IM, email, marco polo, zoom, video chat, telegram or telepathic message away. My lines are always open for authentic communication.
As always, I love you with all of my heart,