Well, here we are 21 days into the New Year. The misnomer that we should have formed new habits by 21 days into our resolutions may be leaving a few of you feeling frustrated. Life-changing habits or alterations of the way we approach life tend to happen one day at a time, maybe even 1 hour or 1 minute at a time. In my experience, we first have to alter the outlook or perception that we have of our life, our limitations and our abilities. Changing our habits or finding a new way to approach life is about changing our understanding of who we are. When we become crystal clear about who or what sent us and what our ultimate purpose is here on the earth plane, we begin to understand what our potential is; we change the perception of our limitations and bad habits.
I am not one to participate in New Year’s resolutions; I tend to grasp onto a theme for year and move and grove accordingly. Last year I played around with the concept of the word Orenda. It was tickly fun and very expansive. I found that word worthy of capturing my attention and delighted in it’s meaning all year long.
This year, when I was asking, seeking and listening for my new theme or word, I was taken aback by the phrase given to me and to the intense reaction I had when I heard it in my mind’s eye. I responded like a spoiled child about to throw a tantrum over a broken cookie. I wanted a redo; I wanted something more powerful or enlightened. I wanted a “Sage’s Word”!
As I sat in my morning quiet contemplation, I settled into a beautiful meditation. I even stopped and pulled out my phone to record the words that were coming through Spirit. This simple yet profound meditation led me to a tranquil and vast place. In this space, I decided to ask the void. What is my word for the year? I heard a booming ABUNDANCE! I instantly said (in my head) I don’t want ABUNDANCE, that’s such a stupid word.
Screeeech … Did I just say I don’t want abundance? Oh, my God! How could I say or think that? Is that what I truly feel under all these layers? I instantly popped out of my lovely meditation with a heart-pounding awareness. Holy Sh** all of the so-called work that I have done regarding worthiness, aligning, and attracting abundance in all shapes and forms and my knee jerk response was to say to the Universe, Spirit, God, and the Omniverse, that I don’t want abundance!!! Oh my my, I needed to go back and do a little soul searching and ego adjusting.
I have read or heard that many souls on a spiritual quest have felt the need to denounce concepts like abundance as in “take on a cloak of poverty,” I did not think that I had adopted this attitude, but here I was wondering why in the world I would reject the idea or word abundance? Was it because the word feels overused and seems trite, or do I feel like I should have a more humbled or more expansive term? As you can imagine, this single event took me for a loop de doop of who, what, where, when and "Why oh Why".
-My first realization was I thought I deserved a “cooler” word. Orenda was awesome; now, I felt stuck with the simplicity of the word abundance.
-I was struggling to find how my new word was going to help me grow in my spiritual life.
-Then I became acutely aware of how uncomfortable and small the word made me feel.
-Ohhh now I was getting somewhere. Could it be that on a profound level I still do not see myself worthy of abundance?
My mind swirl has brought me back to the never-ending need to allow, surrender, and relinquish to the immense wisdom of my higher self.
I have much to learn about letting go and allowing abundance to bless my life on all levels. I have many blessings to experience as I surrender to the concept that I too am worthy of abundance in every aspect of my life. Finally, I will relinquish the illusionary control over what I think is best for my spiritual path.
How do I change my perception? I begin by remembering who sent me. Love created me and I will return to love when all is done. My purpose is to remember that I Am Love and a reflection of the Creator. I Am an integral part of the Creators Creation. I Am Abundance.
In 2009 I wrote an I Am statement and I read that statement out loud every day for several years. The following is an excerpt from that writing. I believe it is time to bring the wisdom of those words back to my daily practice.
I Am Unlimitedly Abundant
There are no limits to what I can create for myself. I am like a bird that does not worry about where my food and shelter will come. I do not want for anything. My desires are met without effort. I am grateful for all that I have and all that is on its way to me. I allow all that I have to flow through me and do not hold on to anything because there is always more to have. I have abundant love, I have abundant money, I have abundant good health, I have abundant talent, I have abundant knowledge, I have abundant joy and I have abundant peace.
I have spent the last two weeks slowly and methodically creating the word ABUNDANCE in a new art form. I used a medium I had not used before, and I created lettering which I had not done before. I intend to experience the concept of abundance in a new fresh and exciting way. I have a sneaky feeling that a very dense veil is about to fall away, that this will be a year of clarity and of a new perception.
What will your word be in 2020 and how will you express it to the Omniverse?