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Where Did the Shy Girl Go? - Overcoming Social Anxiety

Shy girl Drawing by Beena khan

What purpose do synchronicities serve?

Synchronicities are a clear sense that the universe is speaking to us. The more we step into our KNOWINGNESS the more we will notice synchronicities. We are in constant contact with the intelligence of the universe, we are co-creating our reality, and synchronicities are a symptom or a result of recognizing this. As I remember who I truly am, I can begin to recognize synchronicities as nods from my creator. They are me remembering that I am one with all.

One of my hardest life lessons was one that I could not see, feel or witness until I was light years away from it.

Recently I was talking to my daughter who had been struggling with her day to day life. Her husband had been traveling a lot during the month of February which she believed was causing her to feel a sense of isolation. Being the only caretaker for 2 young children 24/7 can be hard and a tad isolating. This conversation reminded me that my understanding of this isolation was way too familiar. I was trying to relay to her the errors I felt I had made when faced with a similar scenario, which per usual, brought me to a story. (I always have a story). I was explaining to her that somewhere during the many years that her father traveled, during which time I was the sole parent for weeks on end, I had lost my self. I had lost my identity as a woman, a wifeand a social being. I became very shy in social settings; I no longer understood the regulations or joy of social inter actions. The crazy part is that I was F*I*N*E at work, able to interact with others in a powerful way, but outside of work and/or my family unit, I was literally terrified of social interactions. Today, as I remember the oppressive feelings of my isolation it seems so foreign. But during that time it was as real to me as the dark of night.

So I told her a story about what I feel was a pivotal moment for me. Her father and I had decided to go out to dinner at a Costa Rican restaurant in Chicago. He had recently heard about it and had asked me if I would like to go. This was VERY unusual for us. Long before this we had stopped going on dates and we never went to the “City” together. By this time in my life, my social anxiety was over the top. It had nothing to do with the people out there in the world it had everything to do with the demons in my head. The voices would tell me that I was too fat, too ugly, too old, too stupid, not wearing the right clothes and on and on. I struggled to even hear myself think a different thought. That night, after what had ended up being an enjoyable dinner he suggested that we walk down the street to a local corner bar. Again this was EXTREMELY unusual for us. Our relationship had failed long before and we had just been moving through the motions out of dedication to our small family. This fact had me on tilt that night but hopeful about our outing. As we walked towards the bar I could feel my anxiety building. I just didn’t know how I was going to enter into that noisy, packed bar. It was one of those places that have open street windows to make it seem Al Fresco during nice weather. It was a beautiful spring evening and the windows were open and the laughter and noise from the people could be heard a few blocks away. When we got there we squeezed through the people and made our way to the bar. The feeling of panic within me was overwhelming to say the least. I had never shared with my husband my increasing inability to be in social settings but on that night I couldn’t hold back another second. I lost my outwardly cool and began to cry. You see NO one knew what had been going on in my head. NO one had any idea that I had been suffering with these paralyzing feelings of inadequacy. My outward appearance to all had been one of strength and power. Now I was crying and begging to leave that bar and go home. My then husband was angry, hurt and completely disillusioned by my behavior. I had no words to try and help him see what had just happened. I knew I had lost myself somewhere along the way and that no matter how mad he was or how much I wanted to be the old me, I just didn’t know how.

Why did I tell my daughter that story? I think I was telling her, because I wanted her to know that talking about the feelings of isolation is so very important. That continuing to do the things that she loves when her husband is in town is so very important , to remember to find joy, laughter and bliss with her husband and kids is so very important, but to also find it with others and most importantly is to find joy within. And to never ever forget who you truly are.

Synchronicity: Just 2 days after telling my daughter that story, that restaurant was named again in a completely unrelated manner. I was sitting with a colleague and out of the blue she mentions a Costa Rican restaurant in Chicago that her sister goes to. The same restaurant from my story! I had never returned to that restaurant, I had not thought about that restaurant in years and now within a few days it is the forefront of my life experiences. I understood this coincidence as a nod from the universe that it was time to write another article. Someone else needed to hear my story.

It is my deepest hope that this article lands on the eyes and ears of someone who is suffering today, someone who feels lost, separated and isolated. Not knowing where to turn. I promise you that there is hope, there is a way out of the darkness, there is a world full of inviting experiences and joy, just waiting for you and most importantly it is just one thought away. During my meditation today I heard these words like I have never heard them before.

“In this new experience we go on forever, there is no friction to impede our glorious extension and we go on forever with God, our love extends forever…. -Gary Renard, An Original Form of True Prayer (5 minute meditation).

In my new experience I have let go of the impeding friction of self doubt and self condemnation to embrace my glorious extension to God and Love.

The person who broke down in tears at the corner bar no longer exists. She is long gone. Where did she go? How did I overcome the debilitating mental and physical phenomenon of Social Anxiety? I did by remembering who I truly am. I pushed my self-limiting, self-imposed boundaries; I did things that terrified me and then laughed like a school girl after I did them, even if it was a disaster. I found programs and seminars that supported my growth, I did things that were really scary like learn to ride a motor cycle and take dance classes where I had to touch strangers. Then finally I let go of the last strands of the ropes which had tied me down when I discovered the frequencies of Reconnective Healing. The demons that had plagued my every thought have been quieted and slowly replaced with the knowing of my perfection and magnificence. I now stand boldly from the mountain top and yell to the world that I know, that I know, that I KNOW, that I am a spark of God, created in “IT”s likeness, a being of perfection and magnificence clothed in the beauty of LOVE. I Am That, I Am.

Virginia Adams is a Energy Healthcare provider. She is a Reconnection-Certified Practitioner and Reconnective Healing Foundational Practitioner. She has created and developed an energy healthcare practice. She is an entrepreneur, an artist and a public speaker. Virginia is full of passion for her work and her mission of helping others to tap into their perfection and magnificence. Reconnective Healing is known to transcends traditional energy healing techniques. It is neither a therapy nor a treatment. People may experience physical, mental, emotional and spiritual healing during these sessions. For additional information visit or email me at

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